Church of Santa - Holiday Services

CHURCH OF SANTA
715 Oak Street
Happy Squire, FL 30242
Bob Belldinging, Pastor
Holiday service
Donations at the door $5 – Kids $6.50

The Mormon X-wives Choir will sing their two big holiday hits
"I had Santa in my Lap" and "Honey, I’m Horny Tonight"
10 CDs will be given as door prizes

High Priest and slick dresser Dr. Sidney Weinstein
will speak on two important topics:
Is China taking the lead out of your pencil?
Do elves get too much TV time?

Group Reading from the Holy Scripture
With analysis by Pastor Bob
Verse 6
"And on the roof there arose such a clatter..."

Following his sermon Pastor Bob will conduct the
annual condom blessing

Dominion's Pizza and Vines of Life are sponsoring communion.
It will be offered in plain or pepperoni (Just one per person)
and the wine will be Red Zinfandel (Second glass $8.50 2 for 1)

Following the ceremony, the Blue Grass group "Winkin, Blinkin, and Odd"
will entertain us in Fellowship Hall. They will be introducing their new song,
"When Santa’s Sleigh Hit the Roof-- So did I"

Come early to avoid the crowds. Don’t forget the
new parking ramp on 5th street is now open.

PLEASE JOIN US
ON THIS HOLIEST OF NIGHTS

SPONSORED BY OAK ST. HARDWARE AND GIFTS
DON’T FORGET OUR PRE-HOLIDAY BB-GUN SALE
$5 (TAX DEDUCTIBLE) FROM EACH SALE WILL BE GIVEN TO
"CONDOMS FOR AFRICA"