Leaving god "Cold Turkey"

For deeply religious church focused people, just dumping religion and belief in god "cold turkey" would be asking a lot. It's a serious problem. For a religious person to deny god is to acknowledge their life has been a sham. Also, missing all the activities, choir practice, pot lucks, and all that would be no fun. I propose an alternative. Change the focus of religious beliefs to Santa Claus. There are at least as many reasons to believe in Santa as there is god. It would be lots more fun. And the rest of the world would accept it, no problem.

Church names could be changed easily. You could have names like First Church of Santa, Santa Fundamentalist's Church, and Church of the Elves. You could start a sect and maybe call it the Kringlists. There are a whole bunch of St. Nicholas churches that could stay the same. Maybe you only believe Santa likes chocolate chip cookies. You could speak in tongues and have profits to predict what toys would be popular next year. You could go to church on Wednesdays and Sundays as usual, sing, play bingo, -- all the same stuff you were doing before.

Congress could vote to put, "In Santa We Trust" on all the money. We could change the Pledge to "Under Santa". Everybody would say that, no problem, we all love Santa. For those in transition, I have listed some of the hundreds of reasons to believe Santa Claus is god. I have also prepared sample worship services to get you thinking about how all of this would fit together.

Evidence Santa Claus is god

• He has a sacred book which is absolute fact
• He has lived thousands of years and never gets sick
• He keeps a list of the good and bad things people do
• We get our morals from him
• He punishes people for being bad
• He answers some prayers
• He lives in a real nice place — I've seen pictures
• Millions of people believe in him so, it must be true
• He has a fun holiday people look forward to each year
• He can be in millions of places at once – it's a miracle
• He can go up and down by touching his nose – it's a miracle
• He can change his size as needed – it's a miracle
• He knows everyone's shirt size – it's a miracle
• He can fly – it’s a miracle
• He is seen on radar
• He knows what people want – it's a miracle
• He creates millions of presents from nothing – it's a miracle
• He’s been seen by millions of people on the same night - it's a miracle
• He eats 3 trillion cookies in one night and doesn’t explode – it's a miracle
• He has 12 little friends that help him – hmmmm, well?
• He likes animals
• He’s against warming of the earth
• There are lots of songs about him
• The post office knows his address
• There are lots of movies about him
• My parents said he was real
• Most parents have actually talked to him